You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
