Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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