just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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