Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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