So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
