my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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