Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
