Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
