i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
