Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
