"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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