I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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