At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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