i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
