Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
