If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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