He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
