Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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