Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
