when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
