I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
