Your tits are I can't wait for
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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