He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize