I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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