it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
