He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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