I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
