Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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