Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
