so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
