True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
