Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
