she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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