I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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