yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
