i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she peed on how many people?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
