I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
