I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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