I look better un-naked...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
