we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
