No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
