Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize