I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
