You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
