I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
