We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
