mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
