thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
