Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
