i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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