Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
