well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
