If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
