Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
