shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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