Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
