dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
