I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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