It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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