piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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