She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
