What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
