i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
