U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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