So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
