when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
